It’s my birthday! Today I begin the journey to embrace the last year of my 20’s, and prepare myself for the new adventures of my 30’s. I don’t care about the numbers, I truly don’t. I do care how it seems everyone else does, and keeps annoying me with questions like “You’re almost 30! Are you scared?” No. If I had known what a shitshow turning 22 was going to be, I would have been a lot more scared then, so clearly the number doesn’t make a difference.
Anyway, a lot changes in a year, so here are 29 things that I feel changed in my 29th trip around the sun. (a la Hannah Hart)
- You now identify as a writer, whether you’re paid for it or not
- But you make sure you get paid when you damn well deserve it
- You put on weight a couple years ago, and you’re finally fine with keeping it, or not
- You’re actually ready to live with someone
- In fact, you realize that this is probably best for your mental health
- You’ve addressed and accepted that you have anxiety issues
- You willingly put some vegetables on your sandwiches, like onions and peppers
- There’s even a green thing on your pizza (sometimes)
- You have fucking osteoarthritis in your neck. Maybe you’re old, or maybe you’ve been using a laptop for the past decade and that’s harmed your posture.
- You’re always starting a new project
- You’re also actually finishing many of them, which is cool
- You still don’t cook. But you found someone who sometimes does so… draw?
- You’ve thought about your family plans. For 5 seconds. Before you freaked out and did something else.
- You finally got the dream hair colour you’ve been trying to perfect for the past decade
- You believe that you’re only as old as you feel
- And accept that your life doesn’t have to be in the same place as everyone else your age
- You’re going to make the last year of your 20’s a good one, filled with new experiences, and totally immature shenanigans
Alright, sex stuff…
- Your sex toy collection is huge, just as you always wanted
- You’ve realized that you just aren’t huge into internal vibrations
- And broad clitoral stimulation is your jam (usually)
- You’ve gotten into butt stuff. And out again. And you hope the urge returns
- You’ve gone off the pill and remembered why condoms are the worst
- Sex toys in sex are a big part of your life
- You aren’t afraid to tell your partner that you just aren’t going to come today
- You also aren’t afraid to grab a vibrator and help both of you along
- Sex positivity is HUGELY important to you
- You’re finding it hard to connect with friends who don’t talk about sex
- Sex on weed is nearly impossible for how lazy you become
- In fact you’ve turned down sex just because you’re lazy or tired. And you’re okay with it. Hopefully he is too.
Help me start 29 with a bang in my Birthday Giveaway! I’ve partnered with The Nookie to bring you the chance to win a $50 gift card to use in-store and online, for beautiful, body-safe toys.