Review: Afrodite by Sex Wooden Toys

afrodite dildo by sex wooden toys review my tickle trunk

I’ve never been particularly good with measurements. Throughout my late teens and early twenties, I’m sure men thought I was perfect because my perception of an inch was way off, so needless to say I was easily impressed. I say this because there’s one factor that’s going to very slightly hinder this review, and that factor is size.

It’s the same thing that got me into trouble with my too-big Pure Plug, which I try so hard to love but I’m just not feeling it in return. When Sex Wooden Toys reached out to me, they asked which toy I wanted and what size, so this is no one’s fault but my own, and perhaps in part to a poor public school math education. I chose the large Afrodite from Sex Wooden Toys, thinking I like many other “large” toys, but not taking into account the inflexible material or, y’know, what an inch really looks like. Size Queens can rejoice because DANG she’s a big ‘un, but my vagina is merely a Size Princess In Waiting.

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Review: Magic Wand Rechargeable

magic wand rechargeable review my tickle trunk

This ranks up there with the Pure Wand as another toy that needs no introduction, nor any further fanfare, but too bad. This toy is too important to my collection to not be writing about it. It’s commonly known as the relative to its predecessor, the Hitachi Magic Wand “back massager”, only now sporting a body-safe silicone head, more intensity options, vibrating patterns, and of course – it is now rechargeable and cordless.

I’ve used a mains-powered wand only once before, and the cord was surprisingly unruly. Where did it go during sex? Under me? Over me? To the side? I hadn’t expected to be that strongly opinionated about something as simple as an electric cord, but when it came time to invest in a proper wand vibrator, I did find myself leaning in the direction of cordless (only in part because my landlord took 2 years to fix the short-circuiting outlet beside my bed).

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Review: Intimate Earth Intense Clitoral Stimulating Gel

Intimate Earth Intense Clitoral Stimulating Gel review my tickle trunk

I’m going to start this off with a quick story that doesn’t really affect my impression of this product, but will drive home what a spectacular moron I am.

As those who follow me on Twitter may know, from time to time, I like to do something that I call #DildosDayOut, where I take sex products on a walk to take photos for upcoming reviews. During a recent trip down to the waterfront with my sex toys, I brought along the Intimate Earth Clitoral Stimulating Gel, and took some pretty photos of the bottle atop an overpass at sunset (romantic, I know), and when I arrived home, the bottle was gone.

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Review: OVO E6

ovo e6 rabbit vibrator review my tickle trunk blog

The OVO E6 has a unique feature, in that it’s the first double-ended vibrator that I’ve ever had the experience of owning; it has one end that features the classic rabbit design, while the other is a bit more thick and rounded and features its own vibrator for internal use. For that reason, this review will be split into two chucks to highlight both ends of this dual-purpose vibe…

Rabbit
I’ll be frank – rabbits, more often than not, suck. And I didn’t have a lot of hope for the E6 when I pulled it out of its clean, white box to find the tiniest, most confusing rabbit layout I could have imagined. The arms have only an inch of difference in length; they’re shockingly thin, flat, and short. I may not be a typical size queen, but I do have some expectations when it comes to toys, and that expectation is that I won’t have ample room to jiggle the toy around inside me. I immediately couldn’t imagine the stimulation to be particularly exciting.

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Review: MEO HurtMe Deluxe Swatter With Anal Ball

MEO HurtMe Deluxe Swatter With Anal Ball my tickle trunk review

THWAP.

There’s the onomatopoeic, all-encapsulating buzzword for this review. A sound that’s thick, sticking to your skin like honey, yet cuts through you like a red-hot knife. It’s the word that immediately popped into my head as I handled this MEO Swatter for the first time, palming the flexible leather and grasping my fingertips over the cold, metal anal ball handle. It was also the word that was forced through my body the first time this toy was thrust against my bottom.

Having tested it out on my arm earlier in the day, I laid over the bed, bottom up, and closed my eyes, awaiting the delicious sting of a new toy… but not before yelling “BE GENTLE.”

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Review: Fun Factory Stronic Eins

Fun Factory Stronic Eins review my tickle trunk

I’m a lazy person, and any lazy person will admit to once or twice giving up the prospect of masturbating simply because it’s too much effort. The Fun Factory Stronic Eins is the lazy fuck’s best friend, and something you really have to experience for yourself.

This… vibrator? Dildo? I don’t know, but this toy is COOL (yes, it’s actually a pulsator, but that may not be clear unless you’re familiar with the company). Magnets move back and forth within the Stronic to create a thrusting motion that gives you 1-2 inches worth of hands-free thrust that provides the type of stimulation you would typically get from using a dildo. I held it for what must have been hours, marvelling at the technology as it wobbled back and forth on the palm of my hand. I would show my boyfriend how COOL it was – he took it as a hint that we should use it, but I was more in awe of this amazing piece of technology. Thanks to the sexiest use of magnets you’ll likely ever encounter, this thing holds a bit of weight at 1.2 pounds, and it will also pick up your bobby pins and quarters when you take it on a walk for #DildosDayOut.

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Review: Njoy Pure Wand + A Word On Squirting

Njoy Pure Wand review + Squirting my tickle trunk

The Pure Wand needs no introduction – you know it, and if you’re like me, you’re one of the thousands who rushed to buy it after reading a “gushing” review from your favourite long-time blogger. Hell, the last thing the internet needs is yet another glowing review of the Pure Wand, but if you don’t like it, then hey, get your own blog.

I bought mine about 6 months back, when I found myself with some scraps of disposable income and a lust to know more about this magical chunk of steel. I was giddy as I carried it home from Come As You Are, feeling the heft of such a small yet sturdy item as it tired my arm while waiting (and waiting) for the streetcar. I grinned ear-to-ear as no one suspected that my plain paper bag contained a simple, stunning dildo; one unlike they’d ever seen before.

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Review: B Swish Bcute Pearl + Bfilled Vibrating Plug

Bswish Bcute Classic Pearl review my tickle trunk

I never know what to do with little toys like this – too small to do much for insertion, but bigger than a simple bullet, so the size seems wasteful on a tiny little clitoris. I decided that the B Swish Bcute Pearl vibe was an external-use toy, but it wouldn’t stop me from giving it a go elsewhere!

Now, I’m going to do another mini review within this one, and mention that I have another B Swish toy – the Bfilled Vibrating Plug. I scored this for $5 at the previously mentioned Come As You Are annual sale (RIP), and it was my first, highly coveted vibrating plug. It’s a big one too, at 2.5” girth – they don’t call it Bfilled for nothing!

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Review: The Captain By Pleasure Works

Review: Pleasure Works The Captain my tickle trunk dildo

The Captain makes me greedy. It makes me want more. It’s so thick and so realistic that it takes my “size doesn’t matter” demeanour and replaces it with “MOAR COCK PLZ”

The Captain is made with Firm Core Silicone from Pleasure Works, consisting of a very firm centre shaft with a very soft, supple coating of premium silicone over top. The overall shape of the dildo is very firm, with not much give or bend to it, but the outer coating provides the perfect amount of give to make this THE most realistic feeling dildo I’ve ever had. The Tantus Uncut #1 takes the prize for most realistic in appearance and detail, but close my eyes and put this in my hand, and the soft, clammy exterior has me fooled.

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Review: California Exotics Inspire Remote Teaser

California Exotics Inspire Teaser my tickle trunk review

I keep reading great reviews of the Cal Exotics Inspire line, but obviously I just chose the wrong products, because for fuck’s sake, this thing is bad. If you’re in a hurry, I’ll save you a couple paragraphs: a dying housefly could fall into my pants and buzz away in its last moments of life and it would be about as pleasant as the Inspire Teaser.

Much like I mentioned with the Inspire Wand, it just looks so pretty, and its “travel & tease”-friendly demeanour intrigued me. My man has always been interested in a panty-play toy that we could sneak around with in public, but he’s never even seen this thing, because it doesn’t work.

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