Review: Bondage Toys

My Tickle Trunk Bondage Sex Toy Reviews Sportsheets Pipedream Whips Crop

Vague, right?

As I recently assembled What’s In My Tickle Trunk and linked to my own product reviews, I realized that I’ve reviewed jack-all of my own bondage collection. It’s not that I’m not into bondage, not at all, and you can see from my listed collection that this isn’t the case. It’s simply that most bondage items serve one specific purpose, and it really doesn’t seem worth my time to write such a small review, so I’ve taken 5 of my small items (mostly from when I was getting started) and packed them into a delightful bondage compendium! Let’s call this volume 1.

Pipedream Fetish Fantasy Riding Crop
I always wanted to own a riding crop. I’m not sure that I’ve always wanted to *use* a riding crop, but I’ve always had the image of myself with a firm stick of authority over whomever it may be. I’m at most about 25% dominant, so this is a pretty unusual fantasy.
Anyway, I was very happy when I found this for under $10 at my local Love Shop and rejoiced at the opportunity to finally own one. However I don’t think I realized how much these things hurt; on the scale of pain implements, the riding crop is a god damn 9, and this was the first bondage instrument I really owned. Riding crops are not for newbies.

It’s not the standard visualization of a riding crop – it’s not a rigid stick with a small leather pelt on the end, and instead is a stick of medium pliability wrapped in leather all the way up to the small, thin leather pelt at the top. Because of the slight pliability of the main stick, it’s almost like riding-crop-meets-whip… did I mention it tickles a bit?

The first time I used this on my boyfriend he had swollen, red welts for days because I had no idea how much this was meant to hurt and just kept going to town (in fairness, he didn’t stop me). He has to use probably 1/3 of the force on me, and even then I ask him to switch to a paddle anyway. I would even say this hurts more than your standard crop because with the stick sometimes moving about, you can end up hitting somewhere a little softer than you intended.

James Deen Black and Blue Switch Paddle
Look, I bought this BEFORE his whole scandal and I really just wanted a simple, cheap paddle – the name meant nothing to me, like when I buy Jessica Simpson jeans. In the fact the product name in its entirety is pretty tragic. They don’t even make it anymore for what I’m going to call pretty obvious reasons, but there are a lot of great comparisons out there such as Fifty Shades or Lovehoney.

The product listing claims that the leather side is meant for a stinging slap, while the blue suede side provides a soothing thud. I guess, but it all feels the same to me. For my own use, I prefer the paddle to most other implements – flogger is too light, crop is too strong, paddle is just like being spanked by an unfamiliar hand. Like I said, it’s a simple paddle, and it gets the job done, but if you want more of a sting, then you might try something with rivets or made of silicone.

Pipedream Fetish Fantasy Breathable Ball Gag
I’m going to describe this as my first ball gag experience, so don’t take it too seriously. My boyfriend loves the idea of a ball gag, and I love the idea of trying new things. I previously had TMJ issues for years, so I was a little apprehensive to put a giant ball in my mouth and hold my jaw open that long, so I figured the least I could do is get a breathable one. Aesthetics aside, I’m not entirely sure why they’re not the norm.

Anyway, I won’t lie, this wasn’t my thing. I wish smaller ball gags were more commonplace, because my boyfriend can’t even fit this in his mouth, and I had to have my jaw CRANKED open to fit this beneath my teeth (to which it would frequently pop out). I think the overall discomfort played a big part in how little I enjoyed this experience. I think we’ve all had that sex where you’re kind of like “yeah, alright”, but having this thing in sobered me right up and turned me very much off.

I like my balls small, and that applies to gags.

Sportsheets Mini Flogger
My collection didn’t seem complete without a flogger. This came as part of a beginner’s kit, to which the blindfold (AKA sleep mask) wasn’t effective (are they ever?) and the furry handcuffs broke after 2 uses, but the flogger still lives on.

It’s beginner, so I would only recommend getting this to see if it’s a sensation you enjoy. In an ideal world, I’d have the flogger with 2-foot leather whips and a glass handle that can also be used as a dildo (a la No. 38), but I was a newb, I wasn’t shelling out $50 for a whip! It’s “mini”, and I assumed the handle didn’t really matter in a flogger, but having that leverage behind each slap does have its advantages; I sometimes feel like I’m playing with Barbie’s S&M collection with this thing.

The flogger does what it does, but it’s almost like a buzzy vibrating bullet compared to a rumbling Fun Factory creation; each hit is just that, a hit, and it takes A LOT of force to leave any sort of sting behind. Using the flogger for repetitive hits doesn’t really build up to anything because the strands are too small to really bring any momentum behind them.

This reminds me. I really need to buy a new flogger.

Sportsheets Collar with Nipple Clamps
This is probably one of the more hardcore things in my collection. Even as I was ordering it, I was texting my boyfriend like “really? Is this what I am now?” My nipples have shockingly little sensation in them, so clamps are definitely something I can live with. This was my first experience with them and just like the riding crop, I think I could have aimed a little lower to start; maybe something pink and fuzzy? Either way, this is me now.

The leather collar comes with a ring at the front so you can also attach a leash if need be (need? Yes, because you NEED to leash your girlfriend. This is good writing). From there, the collar has two generous chains leading to two adjustable, capped nipple clamps; this isn’t mean to pull on the nipples by any means, the design is purely eye candy.

If you’re new to clamps, and hell maybe if you’re not, make sure the clamps are LOOSE AS FUCK. Maybe wear them around for an hour to get used to them. DO NOT do what I did and assume they aren’t adjustable and attempt chop off your nipple. Did I mention I was new at this when I got them?
Another pro tip: make sure the caps are on good and tight before you begin. It seems like halfway through I end up having one very painful nipple and I don’t notice until later that the cap has come off.

Overall I like it though. The visual really works for my boyfriend (I hope? He’s fucked me in it either way), and I love the feeling of control even when there isn’t any being shown. As an added bonus, the clamps can be forgone and you (or someone else) can use the chains as a collar. I actually think I like this purpose more.

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