Review: FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet

FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Vibrator in purple with a pink button

The market for ultra-powered bullets has never been more lively; it seems like the best toy you can make these days comes in a compact package with the power of an orangutan and the battery life of clock. The now-classic We-Vibe Tango seemed like the greatest early contender in its field for size, price, and power… but can it be out-done?

Not yet.

For starters, the FemmeFunn Bullet is very flexible compared to the rigid Tango – great for some, not so great for others. I for one like firmness so that I can mash down on my clit and not have to chase after the toy. The hard plastic of the Tango is good for this, but I appreciate the less pinpoint tip of FemmeFunn for those who may prefer a more rounded shape. That’s not to say it makes it any less pinpoint in sensation though; thanks to its flexible shape, it means there’s no escaping the direct power that eliminates from the tip of this bullet, and I for once can find it a bit much when partnered with a buzzier motor.

FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Vibrator in purple, sitting next to the We-Vibe tango in blue

This flexibility and general shape mean it’s less useful for insertion inside of other toys; one of my favourite uses for my Tango was to pair it with my Fuze Tango for a super-powered, rumbly vibe that still sides into the standard bullet hole. However, the draggy silicone, unusual shape, and flexibility mean that this bullet is more or less single-purpose. The rumble is a far hope as well, since this is – perhaps not surprisingly – buzzier than its pricier counterpart. If you’re looking for a Tango dupe, keep looking (or, y’know, buy a Tango).

Turning the toy on isn’t nearly as simple as the Tango either; you press and hold it for what feels like forever before it springs to life on the setting which you last had it (which sucks because it means if you lose your spot in the vibration patterns, you can’t just turn it off and start again). I really do wish some bullet designer would come up with a simpler way to switch between speeds and modes though. Cycling through 15 variations is a pain in the ass when all I did was miss the “medium” setting and my clit is getting whatever the orgasm equivalent is of “hangry.” This one is particularly frustrating because I find the continuous low setting to be too little and the medium setting is just too much; so I try to go back and forth between the two but I have to click through SEVENTEEN vibration patterns to go back that one setting. THAT IS TOO MANY SETTINGS. I have some pretty poor opinions of vibrator patterns to begin with, but this creates such a chore. Keep it simple, folks – hey, maybe add a few in between speeds instead! It’s this last problem that really stands out to me because it’s hard to have an orgasm when you’re trying to Goldilocks a vibrator that isn’t “just right.”

FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Vibrator in purple with a pink button

So perhaps you’ve figured it out by now, but no, this does not hold up to the rumbly Tango that we’d all love to replicate. However, there are the select few who don’t find rumble to be their “just right” so if you prefer a buzzier vibe, then I actually would recommend this, provided you like intensity, which this delivers threefold.

Bonus? It comes in a colour that isn’t pink or purple – a pretty turquoise! *grabby hands* But I’m afraid this just isn’t enough for me to recommend it. For only a little more, you can get the reliable, versatile, well-loved, and rumbly Tango that has kept sex bloggers the world over satisfied.

femmefunn ultra bullet vibrator in turquois

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This product was provided by Peepshow Toys in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own and unbiased. Thank you to Peepshow for this contribution.

FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet

FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet
6

Rating

6/10

    Pros

    • Affordable
    • Compact
    • Colourful
    • Soft Silicone
    • Powerful

    Cons

    • Buzzy
    • Bendy
    • Odd Shape
    • Too Many Patterns
    • Hard To Use

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