So, in the three months since I bought this, they’ve stopped making it. However Intimate Earth DOES make the exact same thing as a spray – I have the men’s version. Here is the women’s. Because maybe your anus is sexist.
I can’t write much about anal gel, I just can’t. I can’t frame it with pretty photography and talk about the pros and cons of a tiny little invention that you apply to your asshole to beat it into submission. But just in case you’re too damn lazy to read even a couple paragraphs, here’s the TLDR: if you have a finicky butt, use this!
I know anal play isn’t as easy as “I’m horny, stick it in”, but I seriously wish it was. Even as I write this I’m horny and want to put something in my butt, but I know I’d have to get some porn, some lube, and at least two toys to warm me up over the next 10-15 minutes. Who has the time? Anal is work, and this gel doesn’t change that, but it certainly fucking helps.
Also, my butt is rude. It doesn’t like company. Sometimes we’ll decide that we’d like to have some company and we’ll spend half an hour prepping and readying the place, and my butt assures me that it’ll be fun and that we’ll have a fine time. But then the guests start showing up and it starts either turning them away at the door, or inviting them in only to decide that they aren’t good enough and shoving them out. Rude, butt. Rude.
Intimate Earth is like a glass of wine for your rude butt. While you’re getting the place ready, just give your anus some of this and within 3-10 minutes your butt has calmed the fuck down. Unlike other anal gels, it doesn’t numb the area, it just relaxes the muscles so that you can feel the pleasure without your butt clamping down, insisting that no no, you aren’t enjoying this. Your butt is relaxed and that means you can finally enjoy the party.
I like anal play and in that vein, I like the thrill of challenging how much I can take, and for that, this gel has made me a very happy pervert. During one of my masturbation marathons I wished so much that I could put my (alarmingly large) vibrating plug up there, and that’s when I remembered that this stuff has been sitting in my trunk since Christmas. I applied it – noting the 3-10 minute delay and a faint smell of cinnamon – and continued to play with the rest of myself while I waited. 5 minutes later I did a test run by lightly thrusting with my thinner plug – awesome. I then took the dildo end of my beloved anal probe and I’ll be damned if that thing didn’t just slide in like butter; from there on it was just a fuckfest of various toys, leading to this mess afterwards:
So, yeah. Uh, use this stuff if you’ve ever dreamed of taking it like a champ. I don’t know what the hell lemongrass has to do with my butthole but damn, does it do miracles.
Buy Intimate Earth “Daring” Lemongrass Anal Relaxing Spray from My Bedroom Spice & get 20% off with promo code MYTICKLETRUNK