Where’s Charlotte? A Tale of Low Sex Drive & Body Image Issues

"Wanting Sex Again" book on a scale with sex toys

Where have I been? Right here. Right on the edge of this very blog, looking in, wondering what’s happened and why I can’t seem to look my blog in the eye these days. I’m racked with guilt every time I glance at the Twitter icon on my phone, wondering if people are missing me, or worse, disappointed in me. I see new emails come into my inbox, and I swipe away the notification, wondering if it’s worse to read it or ignore it (sorry to those who go ignored). So many parts of my brain have shut down lately – namely my sexuality, my self-esteem, and my ability to talk about either.

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Clothing: My Body’s Judge

photo credit: Slurpiesandstraws via flickr.com

I stared at 6 garbage bags, feeling a sense of completion, yet also a sense of defeat; those 6 bags held some of my greatest fears, aspirations, and failures. It made me question the difference between letting go for your own sanity and giving up the fight. Was this a new beginning, or the beginning of the end?

For fuck’s sake Charlotte, they’re just clothes.

Everyone’s first thought of the morning is probably of the day ahead; maybe it’s hopeful and filled with good news, or maybe it’s a moment of dread as you know a tough challenge is ahead. For me, it’s always the latter, because the hardest part of the day for me is often getting dressed.

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